"I'm all set"

"I'm all set"


I heard this phrase this week.  It's not your typical Southern saying..but some times "Mainers" say it... and in the context I heard it, it meant "thanks, but no thanks...not interested"

I went to Portland, Maine this last week on a mission trip to help a new church plant, Cross Church, reach out to people.  I have not spent much time up north, and it was very apparent right away, that it was not the hospitable South I am accustomed to.

Don't get me wrong, not everyone was rude or indifferent, but typically people do not make eye contact or speak to you first as you pass them on the street.  And talk about a melting pot...we could not have made contact with more nationalities unless that Southwest airliner flew us completely around the world.

I say all of that to say this...

I have been pondering this point for awhile.  Here in Hopkinsville we have Challenge Houses.  They are located is disadvantaged areas, the people who live in them become rooted in the neighborhoods.  Services are offered from the homes, like  GED classes, after school tutoring, and bible studies.  I love the concept. Real live people who simply love their neighbors.

The more I learned about the Challenge Houses, I began to ponder some thing.  Why do we not do this in other neighborhoods?  Are the people living in the higher income areas all saved?  Do they not need to hear the Gospel?  I have been thinking about this for months, and I think this trip to Maine has given me a glimpse at the answer to some of my questions.  As I walked the streets and beach in Maine there was a sense that people felt that we had nothing to offer them.  They did not feel they were in need of anything.

From my very limited experience as to how things work with a new church plant, it seems like a slow grind of a process.  How do you reach out to people who feel they have no need?  Giving some one some thing tangible to meet a physical need is fairly easy, its what I do at work every day.  But how do you make one aware of their need when they have a beautiful home complete with a dock and boat?

We know the need...we have felt it ourselves.  As I watched these church planters at work, Aaron and Kathy Werner, I noticed some thing.  It was brief windows of opportunity that they took.  They never passed up the chance to chat with some one, to get to know them just a little.

We keep hearing "its all about relationships" lately, and it is.  We must be willing to be in relationship with people if we hope to show them the most important relationship of all, one with Jesus Christ. Not every one, or should I say, most people don't respond to being handed a gospel tract.  The more I ponder this, the more I come back to this point.  Do we care that people are dying and going to hell?  If we really do, then it will change us.  It will change what we are willing to do, who we are willing to talk to.

I come into contact with people every day.  I am free to share my faith at work, unlike many people.  There are no excuses, it all boils down to how much I care.

Pondering....

Father's Day Perspective

Growing up, most men got a bad wrap in my mind.  My grandfather left my grandmother before I was born.  I did not know much about my father, other than he was not there.  My step father was an alcoholic.

May 11, 1996

So each father's day that came, I would call my mother and wish her a "Happy Father's Day" since she was about the only one I felt I could say it to.  We both got a laugh out of it..and so it went year after year.

My Grandpa was one of my favorite people on the planet, and even though I heard a lot of negative about him growing up from my Grandma (I was just around her more often) I still never missed a chance to see him when I would visit home.  He was the one who walked me down the isle on my wedding day. He was always so big to me, and I knew he loved me.  The last time I saw him in the nursing home (he had Parkinson and Alzheimers), he could not recall my name, but he reached for Andrew, who was little at the time and he sat in Grandpa's lap as we wheeled him around the nursing home and all the little ladies "ohh-ed and awww-ed" at baby Andrew. A nurse asked him who his visitors were and he said, "They are mine"..and that was good enough for me.

My uncle spoke at his grave side not long after.  He told a story that I had never heard before.  When he was young he and Grandpa where digging a grave by hand for a church member that had died.  When my uncle asked him why they did not just hire a tractor to come in, Grandpa told him that we take care of our own, and so they kept digging.

Why had I not heard the good stories about him more often? He was not perfect, but he was a good man.  (might have helped if that side of the family could stand each other longer enough for everyone to sit around together and swap stories...sheesh, that's a blog for another day)

Some time later I began to notice some things about another man that were "good".  My father was building a fire in his fire place and he let Andrew help him.  I did not have the patience to let Andrew help with anything like that, he was maybe 4 years old.  I had already been pondering the "goodness" of my Grandpa and the realization hit me like a ton of bricks...was this another good man? Although much less frequent than in the past, where my thoughts of him still framed with the negative? As I watched him be so patient with my little boy, the same little boy who bears his name...the question was answered as soon as I asked it.

The women in my life who told the negative were not lying to me, but they were sharing deep hurts, hurts that changed the course of their lives, and I loved them too.  Now that I am older, have kids of my own, and am separated by nearly 400 miles...I have gained some perspective.  I can love them all.  Grandma decided not to attend my wedding because Grandpa gave me away, and although I was deeply hurt in that moment, I can say now that I would not change a thing.  She missed my big day, I on the other hand, did not miss having a man who had loved me since the day of my birth walk me to my husband. 

Andrew and my Dad

Although Grandpa is gone, I am thankful for the way God continues to open my eyes to see the good in my father.  I suppose 37 years is quite long enough to hold the negative.  I know the facts, and they will always be, but they will no longer rob me of the good there is now. 

Pondering....

Righteous Indignation

As this thought rolled around in my head today, I decided I would look these words up...according to dictionary.com:

Righteous-morally right or justifiable; acting in a upright, moral way; virtuous
Indignation-strong displeasure at some thing considered unjust, offensive, insulting, or base; righteous anger

I was offended today....I was on the phone with someone, but as she was hanging up the phone she mocked me to whom ever else was in the room with her.  She loudly repeated some thing some thing I had said with a sarcastic tone. 

I have rehearsed in my mind exactly what I would say to her the next time I saw her, multiple times in fact..it went like this...

"I have never treated you with disrespect, so next time you want to mock me, at least make sure that you have hung the phone all the way up first."

I was proud of my witty come back...I was right, I told myself, to call her on her rudeness.  This train of thought continued most of the day.

Then, as I was driving home, a small whisper began...and I knew...I would not utter my witty comment...

After all, in times past that I have sliced back with my well thought out words, what has the result been?  It was never what I wanted or intended.  No one has ever looked thoughtfully at me and said, "You know, Alisa, you are right...I am so sorry I offended you.  Our relationship will be so much better now that you told me that!"

Nope, not once...

So tonight I will ponder the truth of God's Word:
"Fools show their annoyance at once, but the prudent overlook an insult." Proverbs 12:16

Purity..it's not just for girls...

I love all the face book post, songs, etc about fathers cleaning their guns and such when a boy comes calling for their daughter.  I feel quite sure that my husband will enjoy tormenting some boy that exact way when my daughter is older.  But for now, I have a 17 year old son.  I care about his purity as much as any father cares for his daughter's.  I have always been perplexed by this weird double standard that exists.  If a teen age girl gets pregnant, she is called ugly names...but the boy is high-fived? Why is that?  How can we expect our girls to remain pure if we are patting our boys on the back with a "wink, wink" attitude as they leave for the prom?

I may not be sitting on the front porch cleaning a gun when my son and his girl leaves for a date, but believe you me, I am paying attention.  And I am going to be asking lots of questions of said girl...like..where do you go to church?  Where do you go to school?  What do your parents do? Where do you live?  Do your parents know where the two of you are going?  And if their destination is her home, you can better bet that I will be calling her parents as well.  And speaking of her parents..if said girl appears at my home several times, I will also be asking to meet them.  Why would I do that?  Because I want them to know that when they are in my home, they will spend time in my living room, not off behind closed doors.  I want them to know that I am also concerned with their daughters purity. 

I want God to bless the relationships that my children have, and I know that He will not do that when they are doing things out side of His plan for them. I want to give them boundaries that will help them take steps in the right direction. I know that even the best of teens, with the best of intentions can fall prey when left to their own devices. 

So, I imagine that if by chance my son, James, is reading this..he is mortified...but James if you are reading this, I love you with a love you will not understand until the day you hold your first born.  I pray even today for the women who will some day be your wife, and I pray that your decisions now only honor that future relationship....

Pondering.....

Deceived

So, as I am driving home to visit family I listen to a radio station till it runs out, then find another.  I typically listen to Christian music while driving at home, but am (usually) happy to take what I can get to come in clear while traveling.

Inevitability I will hear a song that brings back a flash, some times a head to toe remembrance of an experience from another time.  And can I be honest? Some of those lyrics resonate with my fleshly nature, or dare I say heart...

And why is that?  I am a saved, born again, all things made new, child of God.  How is it that I can still be caught off guard by those moments?  Our former Pastor, Bro Greg used to say, "You can't stop a bird from flying over your head, but you can keep it from making a nest in your hair." And while some songs are straight vulgarity, others are not in and of themselves evil, but written by someone with a hurt heart...searching...

On the flip side, while I might get swept away for a brief moment, I can now quickly remember the shallowness of those times that I thought were fun..the consequences...even the not so immediate ones.  I was deceived then..with every breath I took. 

Dictionary.com says:  deceive  verb
                                1.  to mislead by a false appreance or statemnet, delude
                                4.  to mislead or falsely persuade others; practice deceit: an engaging manner
                                     that easily deceives

My point is this...deception can be all encompassing. I think we lose sight of that as believers. I believe in absolute truth.  But a deceived person can not see it. A wise "Church Mama" once told me that we can not be mad when the blind stumble, they can not see.  The think black fog of deception is present with every breath, every blink of the eye, and nothing but the light of Truth can penetrate it.  So let us remember that as we seek to love on the lost.

Point #2 is that we must still guard our eyes, ears, and minds from the things that linger to catch us in the snare again ....

Pondering....

Responsibility & Forgiveness

I had an unusual thing happen today.  A woman came to me and asked me to forgive her because she had had some not so nice thoughts about me in the past. She told me that when she first met me she thought I was cold and uncaring, but had since came to know that that was not the case...

I was baffled...I did not know that she thought that about me.  She could have gone on and never told me.  But she was compelled to ask my forgiveness.

In the course of a day I hear a lot of stories.  I ask a lot of questions.  I might ask, "Why were you incarcerated? " Typically I get answers ranging from, "the judge said I did not pay my child support" to "well...some how the cops got called..."  Rarely, if ever is my questioned answered with, "I did wrong."  The story always includes what everyone else has done. We take much effort to explain and deflect our sin.  And since we do not even admit when we are wrong, how is it that we would ever seek forgiveness?

We seldom go to each other to ask forgiveness even for blatant acts done against each other.  What if we were so mindful of our thoughts and actions that we even asked forgiveness for the "unknown" sins?  Oh the healing that might take place, and the strength we would regain in the Church if we took our sin seriously...

While I did not know the bad thoughts the woman had about me, I got the drift that I was not her favorite person.  But now I know more about her, I know that she is my sister in Christ.  With out that exchange of forgiveness we would have both went on with our lives and probably forgotten each others names.  But now I believe that the body of Christ as a whole is a little bit stronger, and when our paths cross again we will fellowship in a way that we would not have otherwise. 


Pondering....

Dangerous

Okay...I have been wondering this for awhile...

If you are driving toward a cliff and you do not know it, but I do, and I do not warn you, what kind of person does that make me? Should I just continue to drive to safety and just hope that you will follow my example and avoid the danger?  Or..should I do everything possible, including waving my arms around like a stark raving lunatic to get you attention, or even go as far as putting myself between you and the danger in attempt to stop you?

Would it be considered rude of me to interfere in your travels?  You are an adult after all, you don't need me "judging" your driving.  And how is it that I know you are driving toward a cliff?  Maybe I have been down that road before...  And it could even be that you are well aware that the cliff is near, but you insist on having your way as you think you can flirt with not going over the edge. 


Sin is serious.  We laugh it off.  We excuse it.  We certainly do not want anyone "judging" us. When we laugh along with the world as sin is celebrated, what does that say about the church?  The Body of Christ? 

Are we allowing people to drive head long off a cliff because we do not want to offend anyone?  Do we not care enough to warn them of the danger? We are told it is unloving, but I feel the opposite is true.  I have heard some one say recently that we are "loving people to death", meaning we smile and say all is well to the point of holding someone's hand all the way to hell, meanwhile never telling them the truth about sin, repentance, and forgiveness. 

I also hear things like "Only God can judge me" and that is right friend..and He will.  With out the blood of Jesus covering you when He does, you will be found in serious lack.  I cringe when I hear some one who does not have a relationship with Jesus utter those words with an arrogant heart. 

I have had the uncomfortable experience of going to friends when they are heading toward the cliff, it is not fun, but I loved them too much not to.  I did not do it because I thought I was better than them.  I did not do it because I am without sin.  I did it because I feared for what their future might hold if they did not stop running full speed toward the cliff.

Who in your life do you love enough to warn?  Do it today...because that road might seem long, but the cliff is not going away..

Pondering....

Let's be honest...

School was wisely canceled today.  Roads were the worst they have been in years.  They were bad enough my work was also canceled.  When I found out I would also have a snow day, I was thankful I would not have to scrape the multiple inches of ice and snow off my car...my next thought was..oh no...stuck in the house..all day...with bickering kids....

I love seeing all the cute pics of families enjoying their day playing in the snow on face book.  By the time I am relaxing and enjoying the pics, my family has all went to their separate corners as they have tired of fighting with each other, and I am left wondering, why can we not enjoy a day off together? 

I say all of that to say this...face book is the "high light reel" of our lives.  I love to post my kid's shining moments, or something yummy I made.  It's where the best of the best goes, leaving the impression that all is well in our happy little lives.  Now I do not necessarily suggest airing everything on face book, but every now and then a pic of your undone dishes would be great...a little balanced reality....

We talk about putting on a mask, and people who do not know us feel like they have nothing in common with us because their lives are a mess.  Little do they know that lurking just beneath that mask and threatening to boil over at any second is PLENTY mess of our own. 

This is especially important for Christians to understand.  The lost world is hurting.  If we never stop long enough to share our pain with someone who is hurting in a similar way, then what was the purpose of what we went through?  I have heard lost people say "It's nice to be you..you have no idea.." and they believe that.  They do not know what we may have been through because all they see is the smile on our face and the pretty pics on face book. 

So lets try to show the world who we are, imperfect but trying our best, flawed but forgiven....

Pondering...

"Daddy Issues"

My husband Jamie and daughter Abigail

Off they go to the Father Daughter Purity Ball.  I delight in the fact that her Daddy takes her. It might even mean more to me than it does to them. I sang "Cinderella" by Steven Curtis Chapman all through the house as I ironed their clothes tonight.  I love to do her hair and make up.  I never got to do anything like this.  I remember going alone to some father/daughter girl scout thing due to the fact my step father was "incapacitated" (aka drunk).  I was about 10 or so, and I remember it vividly down to what I was wearing. I remember the feeling, the same feeling I have to this day when I watch a man give his daughter away to her waiting groom. Especially a teary eyed man..gets me every time...and then when they dance at the reception, you get my drift. I am so grateful that my little girl will have much different memories. 

I did not know my own father for years, did not begin a relationship with him until I was 14. (Wonderful, growing relationship now thankfully) I had grand ideas of what it must be like to be loved like that, like those girls whose daddy's cried as they walked them down the isle.

I say all of that to say this, I hear people flippantly refer to some one having "daddy issues" and it kinda gets to me.  Children do not get to chose how involved their parents are in their lives.  Not having a parent in ones life can leaving a gaping whole.  It can shake who you are at the core.  Leaves you wondering why, a lot of whys...

I was 14, see I look like him!

I am sure in the past some one most likely referred to me with this term or some form of it.  I did the classic things girls do when they have not had the solid home life and unconditional love of a father.  (Coupled with an alcoholic step father, that is a story for another day) I had boyfriends from the time I was old enough to have one, and can hardly think of a time that I was single all the way up until the time I married.  I was searching for that missing love.  And every time I was left empty I would start out again.

I thought for sure getting married would do the trick...nope.  It was at that crushing blow that I finally came to the realization that no human man was going to "fix" the hole in my heart.  That was a Jesus sized task, and He was the only man for the job.  I was made with that Jesus shaped hole, and only Jesus would fill it no matter the status of my relationship with my earthly father.  I know many woman who grew up with close relationships with their fathers and still go down the path I went.  Yet I feel compelled to say to any daddy out there who might be reading this, do not leave a void in your child's life.  Do not let your little girls search for affection else where, because you know there are those out there that will be more than happy to wrap their arms around them. 

The Lord has brought so much healing.  I have learned so much about my value to my Heavenly Father and His perfect plan for my life.  As I said I now have a relationship with my dad, and have even had the chance to get an apology from my former step father.  While I will never be a little girl again that can crawl up into her Daddy's lap, a good friend once told me that the first thing she is going to do when she gets to heaven is crawl up in Jesus' lap and soak up all the love that she missed here. Best thing is, there will be room for me right there with her....

Pondering....

Last year at Spring Break, hiking

Babbling Brook

The last few days I have had the pleasure of being at Camp Paradise Valley for a management conference for work.  I love the chances I get to go there.  It is beautiful, peaceful, and even though I typically have a room mate, there are no children banging on the bath room door to come in to pee during my nice long hot shower. 

Last night at about 3a.m. a large thunder storm swept through.  I fully expected to come out to fallen limbs and debris this morning as the wind sounded so severe.  But instead the sun was out, the air was crisp and on my walk down to the lake after breakfast (did I mention they feed us like kings?) I could hear water rushing toward the lake from all around me.  I could hear faint trickles all the way to deep gullies of rushing water. (I took about 20 pics, but this was the best)  The water would not be hindered.  No rocks, no man made road, nothing kept it from making its way down to the lake.  In fact drainage was built to give it a path of least resistance as man has learned that with out it the water will erode the things he strives to build.  

So I began to ponder the power of this water.  What if we sought after our God the way this water sought to reach the lake?  What if we allowed nothing to hinder us? No rock, no man made obstacle...

Entire cities are built with great consideration as to where rain water will flow, and how such will effect the structures.  How might our society look if it were built around the fact that we would not be hindered?  If the water of our lives eroded barriers in our path as we sought full force to lean closer to God? If the world knew that no matter what it threw at us, we would still strive to find our way?  As my ear did not miss the sounds of the flowing waters, imagine what God's ear would ear if our lives rushed toward Him. 

The only disappointing part about my trip was that a devotional time was not on the schedule, as in years past.  God always seems to speak some thing special to me through the different men or women who give the devotions each time we gather.  This time God choose to give me some thing special through a Babbling Brook...and you know what? I will take it!

Pondering.....

Memory Verse

Our Pastor challenged us to do "The Joshua Code".  It contains 52 verses to memorize over the new year. Week 5's verse was Romans 8:28 "And we know all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."

Familiar words

But I have read these words before, and instead of ending the sentence with a period, I have ended it with a question mark in my mind.  ALL things? Really ALL things?  Are you sure? Even the sand paper things in life? How about the rebellious teenager?  An unbelieving husband? Or any other seemingly unbearable situation that I have no choice but to face daily? I have watched others from afar and whispered the words of that verse in prayer over them and their difficult situation.  And I believed the truth of it..for them. 

I know that some day I will see the bigger picture.  All my whys will be answered, if I still care to know.  But for now God is gently showing me that, yes "ALL things work together for good", even for me, and even in the not so pleasant things.  I am so thankful for this...

Pondering.....

Diving in..

I have wondered alot about blogging, so here goes nothing..Guess I should begin by introducing myself.  My name is Alisa.(pronounced Alisha..my mom spelled it wrong..that is a story for another day)  I will be married 18 years in May to my husband Jamie.  We have three children, James is 16, Abby is 11, and Andrew is 8.  I grew up an Army Brat and then married a military man, some thing I swore I would never do. We live in a small town were I am a case worker and my husband is now a mail man.  All of our children attend public school. My children and I are active in our local church, and I serve as leader of our Women's Ministry Team.  My favorite things to do are sit around a bon fire with friends, and I do a little sewing.  I only enjoy sports if my children are playing, which is interesting since I fall asleep each night listen to ESPN thanks to my husband. :) I love my family, and I love the Lord..so off we go on this blogging adventure!