Conditional Sisters

I attended two funerals in the last month.  Both grandmothers with four children and many grand and great grand children.  But that is where the similarities end.

I was curious when I saw a few older people that I did not recognize as I approached the funeral home.  One was my grandmother's sister, we did not recognize each other, so thankfully she asked who I was.  I was actually beginning to wonder if there might be two funerals happening at the same time. Once she introduced her self, I was surprised.  I had heard this sister's name, but it was usually in reference to some spat.    A little while later another lady came in...another sister.  My grandmother and her sisters (there were six of them) have not spoken in years, since some big blow up, the details of which I was not privy.  The two sisters did not recognize each other.

How do you grow up in the same house and not know your own sibling?  How do you let so much time and ill will go by that you find yourselves finally in the same room and not know it?  The one that asked who I was made her way to the other sister and introduced herself.  And they spoke...not sure the words exchanged, but they spoke.  Both in their 80's, both now in different states, neither had spoken to each other, or to the one whom there was no longer a chance to speak to, for many years.

My grandmother was notorious for holding grudges.  If she was mad at you, she may just stay that way....like for good.  If you had gained weight, she was gonna tell you about it.  She also watched me when I was little so my mom could finish high school, and she loved to see my kids.  She crocheted blankets for us, and made sure each of my kids had a small gift from her in the last year or so.  I remember the row of rose bushes she had planted by the road, but you better not dare pick them, or she would whoop you.  She grew a huge garden, and had chickens..I remember her ringing ones neck once.  I loved her, she loved me.

I wonder...was it worth it?  Was the blow up worth never speaking again, growing so far apart you no longer recognize each other?  I wonder if they even remember what started it all...I bet my grandmother did.  As I ponder this, I realize how much more I am like her than I care to admit.  I can just about tell you what Jamie was wearing one day about 18 years ago when he said something particularity hurtful...I can get mad and stay that way...for a long time.  I have at times been okay with cutting people out of my life because the relationships were just too much...work.  My love has been conditional.  I love you,  as long as ______ .

Are there people in your life that need forgiving? Are there ones you need to seek forgiveness from?

Do it...

I imagine funeral homes are are famous places for regret.  I imagine her sisters felt something toward her, or else why come?  We certainly did not expect to see either of them.  God has been reminding me to be intentional. As I drove away for the cemetery I had an added grief come over me for the cousins  I will probably never see again, we have no more common grandparents... Life rolls by and some times bowls us over.  Those we love can become casualties to the everyday grind, especially those we do not see everyday.

Be Intentional...

Love Unconditionally...

Pondering...