Redeemed Tears...

I got the privilege of hearing my oldest baby share his testimony for the first time Sunday night at Voice of Faith.  It's always a blessing to hear how God worked in some ones life, but, oh how special this story is...

When James was born I fell head over heals, I had never loved another human the way I loved that little boy.  We were connected at the hip.  But, as all little boys do, he grew..and the teen years rolled in...and they did not roll quietly in either.  They were rough...my side kick would just rather not.  We fought about friends, skipping school, dirty socks, homework, going to church, and any other thing under the sun.  I remember sitting on the edge of my bed one night bawling because I felt like some thing had died. How could that sweet little boy who loved me so much all of a sudden hardly stand the sight of me?  I felt like I was grieving a loss.  Some wise church mama's assured me this was normal teenage behavior, and that all would be well, but I ached none the less.  I prayed hard when he made foolish decisions, and cried some more.  He made it through high school mostly unscathed (by the Grace of God) and left for college.  It was the best thing that ever happened to our relationship.  There was less and less to fight about and he was less and less a teenager.  He continued to ignore the Lord a little while longer, but God we still pursuing him.

He came home from college, chose a bride who loves the Lord, and finally surrendered all he was to Him.   Oh, what pure joy it has been to watch the Lord work! 

As I listened to him speak Sunday night, and as he told bits of my own testimony that were interwoven with his, I realized a few things.  All those fights had a lot less to do with me and alot more with him wrestling against the Lord, hindsight really is 20/20.   But my favorite part, "You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle" Psalm 56:8.  God has redeemed every tear I cried over that little boy, and you know what?  I would do it all over again to sit in that pew of that little country church and listen to how God changed him, how God loves him, and how he desires to be the spiritual head of his household...

So mamas out there, if you are still rocking your baby, hold him a little tighter. If he is at the stomp my foot "I can do it myself" stage of toodlerhood, just take a deep breath.  And girl, if he/she is a teenager, just call me, we can laugh, cry and pray together (I am good with running away for coffee and/or food of any variety as well) You are not alone, and God is counting your tears, too.

Just Me, pondering...